Yesterday I was getting help from a man who would try to fix my new 2 month dishwasher that stopped working. He came and told me I should have disconnected it and pushed it forward so that he could help me.
I told him that I told support that I can’t do it myself. I can figure out what’s wrong with people but I am absolutely not smart with machines and I am absolutely not strong to draw that heavy machine out of its box.
I was clear and I was convinced of what I said earlier in the phone and that was it. I looked it him and I saw that he lied. I read his thoughts and I realized that he wanted to come home earlier. So he told me when he decided to, after all, take the machine out by himself (in 5 min), after I told him I was a naturopath and could understand people’s imbalances but not machines, that he could not hear on one of his ears because he had cancer some years ago.
I suddenly understood that this man didn’t want to hear his own intuition and that for some reason, he was denying life and not listening to what life wanted to offer him.
That’s what happens when we lie to ourselves. We end up in paths, careers, relationships and situations that are unsupportive. We may choose to be in situations and circumstances that are actually lies because we may not have known better.
I suddenly understood that, when I left an abusive marriage, I suddenly restored my health completely. So I saw that this man’s experience was tough. I could see his heaviness and his tough childhood; and I could see that he denied a lot of things to himself. And often it is so, that when we deny to see our own love, to realize how good we are and lovely we are and deserving, how beautiful we are and abundant, things start to change. But as he kept on, I understood that his reaction was actually of fear.
so I kept on and I realized that his work went quite quick, and as we started talking, he suddenly started to change, and he left me wishing good luck with my house sales and finding another house in the country side. I started to see what the harsh reality many humans go through happen… what really happens when you don’t listen to your own truth and you go denying things; and if he thought I would back off and emotionally implore for help because I didn’t follow the companies’ instructions, he was probably very surprised with my actions.
just because I am a young female wearing dress and quite sensitive does not mean that he could attempt to implore recognition through manipulation. I am going to tell you, I know where I stand and I am not compromising my truth.
I’ve lived 6 years of my life with a narcissist and I have learned the hard way that truth is the most important thing and no one else can any longer make me think I said something else, brainwash me and try to make me think I did wrong. And I know that have I been weak would I just accept the situation and doubt myself. Then I realized that he was the one who didn’t want to listen. His health showed by himself the negation that he had produced in his own life.
At that moment, I realized that I was no longer feeling touched by another’s drama in a way that I knew this man was lying. But I knew that he was lying to himself. And I could decipher and witness, realizing that I can see more things than he would imagine and I know who I am.
In such situations, people usually compromise and I think many women feel guilt or try to do more than they should. I’ve been there. I no longer compromise my truth. I no longer do more than my soul yearns for and I feel in my heart.
So I give the ball to you now and ask you, are you true with yourself? Do you love yourself enough to be true with yourself?
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